In an age where hustle culture is leaving women feeling burnt out, a new and controversial trend is emerging on TikTok: the 'Trad-Wives.' These women, who have chosen to return to traditional wife roles, are using social media to showcase the joy and fulfillment they find in homemaking, challenging the idea that a nine-to-five job is the path to a woman's happiness.
Estee C. Williams, 24, is one of these women, sharing her sexy and intriguing 'Trad-Wife' lifestyle with her followers. She defines a 'Trad-Wife' as "a woman who chooses to live a more traditional life with ultra-traditional gender roles." Williams asserts that this is not an attempt to dismantle women's right to work but a personal choice made by women who believe that a wife's role is to be a homemaker.
"I chose the trad lifestyle because I believe that women have drifted far from our roots," Williams said. "For me, the hustle culture was not appealing. Being a wife, mom, making delicious home-cooked meals for my family, and keeping up a warm, inviting home is what truly spoke to me."
However, this return of 'Trad-Wives' has been met with backlash from feminists who claim that these women are promoting a romanticized and non-existent past. Ironically, these critics are undermining the very essence of feminism, which is the right for women to choose their own path, whether it be in the workforce or as homemakers.
As Williams explains, "I believe working is good for many women, but [working outside the home] is also the cause of burnout for mothers. I choose to promote this lifestyle to showcase the fulfillment this lifestyle gives."
The pandemic has further highlighted the disparity in work-life balance faced by women. In September 2020, a record 860,000 women quit their jobs in the US, compared to just over 200,000 men. Experts attributed this to women leaving their jobs to take over childrearing, homeschooling, and family health management.
Sociologist Michelle Janning suggests that the collective loss of control during the pandemic may have contributed to the resurgence of traditional values. "When people collectively feel like there's not a lot of control in the world, you cling to something familiar, and concrete because it might be comfortable," she said.
It's important to remember that the internet can amplify the voices of extremists in any community, including the 'Trad-Wife' movement. However, the core values of the 'Trad-Wife' lifestyle are rooted in personal choice and fulfillment, a notion that feminists should respect and support.
While the debate between 'Trad-Wives' and feminists continues, it's crucial to acknowledge that this conversation highlights relevant issues for women today: burnout, domestic work, childrearing, and traditional femininity.
Statistics reveal that women who choose the traditional role of wife and mother may lead happier and more fulfilling lives. For instance, 52% of dads and 60% of moms find it challenging to balance work and family life. Additionally, 29% of dads and 37% of moms always feel rushed. Despite these challenges, the super-majority of both moms and dads said they find parenting enjoyable all of the time, indicating a sense of fulfillment in their roles.
The decision to be a stay-at-home parent can also have a significant impact on the well-being of children as she can avoid the potential risks and dangers associated with the daycare system. According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, in 2017, 2,237 daycare providers were found to be abusing and/or neglecting children in their care. Furthermore, of perpetrators who were child daycare providers, more than 20% had committed sexual abuse.
These alarming statistics highlight the importance of attentive and nurturing care for children, which can often be best provided by parents themselves. When mothers or fathers choose to stay at home and prioritize their children's upbringing, they can ensure a safer and more nurturing environment for their little ones.
Parenting is not only a personal choice but also a deeply rewarding experience for many. With a super-majority of both moms and dads saying that parenting is extremely important to their identity, it is clear that embracing the role of a stay-at-home parent can bring immense satisfaction. The choice to prioritize family life over a career can also foster stronger relationship bonds within the family unit.
The decision for both parents to work outside the home can also have significant implications for the upbringing of children. When children are raised primarily by individuals outside of the family, such as teachers, daycare providers, and other caregivers, it opens the door for potential manipulation and propaganda from external sources, including government institutions like public schools.
While public schools and other educational institutions serve a crucial role in society by providing access to knowledge and opportunities for personal growth, they can also be susceptible to the influence of political agendas and societal aborations. This can lead to the inadvertent propagation of biased information, affecting the development of children's beliefs and values. In other words, if parents allow their children to be raised by strangers, they should not be surprised when their children grow up to be strangers themselves.
On the other hand, when parents are closely involved in their children's upbringing and education, they can better guide and monitor the information and values their children are exposed to. This hands-on approach can foster a more balanced and well-rounded worldview, with family values and personal beliefs playing a more significant role in shaping the child's understanding of the world.
Additionally, close parental involvement in children's education can create stronger family bonds and encourage open communication between parents and children. This environment enables parents to address any concerns or misconceptions their children may have and ensure their emotional and intellectual well-being.
In a world where external influences and agendas are prevalent, the choice to prioritize family life and be actively involved in raising children becomes even more critical. Parents who choose to embrace traditional roles, such as the 'Trad-Wife' or stay-at-home parent, can provide their children with a strong foundation of love, support, and guidance, helping them navigate the challenges and complexities of modern society.
Sources:
https://www.dadwelldone.com/parenting/
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children’s Bureau. (2019). Child Maltreatment 2017. Available from https://www.acf.hhs.gov/.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children’s Bureau. (2010). Child Maltreatment 2008. Available from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/index.htm#can.